Date #59 ✅

R, 36, English

R and I matched on Tinder the day after my adventures with J (#48) ended and two days before I connected with my last date. Given how upset I was feeling over what happened with J the night before, it was particularly nice to connect with someone so pleasant and normal.

I had run out of steam on the dating app railroad and didn’t really know what I wanted to do about it. I was also feeling rather exposed and felt like I want to retreat back into a shell for a while. Despite my doubts while I was with J about whether or not I wanted to be in a relationship, I had reached the point where I just didn’t have the energy to keep meeting new people all the time and casual sex was getting less and less appealing and exciting.

I remembered a conversation I’d had with #10 when we first met. I asked him how many girls he’d slept with in his life. He couldn’t remember, but did say that in one year he slept with about 50 different girls. I thought it was great, but he said “After a while, it started to make me feel bad.” At the time, I couldn’t understand it, as I was having such a great time on Tinder back then and I couldn’t foresee me ever not having so much sex again, but almost a year on I had reached the same point. I was really feeling a desire for, if anything, a bit more depth. I’d tried the one nighters and the fuck buddies and while they were fun times (very fun), I was bored of it. I decided that I only wanted to meet up with people where there was a possibility that it could lead to something more.

R was very keen to have sex. He’d only been on Tinder for a two or three months and talking to him was like reflecting back at myself. I could sense his enthusiasm, just as I had been in the early days. He did much of the talking and said that he couldn’t promise anything deep or long term, but if we hit it off and I invited him back he would come. I could feel another fuck buddy type arrangement brewing, which was putting me off.

Over the following weeks we chatted a lot, by text and on the phone. I sensed that R was a person I could be long term friends with, at least. He liked that he could talk to me so openly about sex and remarked upon that frequently. While I’m pleased that someone feels so comfortable to speak to me about it, as I don’t view it as a taboo or secret topic, I was starting to get irritated that people wanted to talk to me about it ALL THE TIME. I don’t want to be someone’s friend just so they have a female friend they can talk to about sex.

I wasn’t sure about R overall. He pushed the boundaries with his (sexual) enthusiasm a few times, trying to instigate phone sex with me while I was abroad (ha, no thanks) and inviting himself over to my place more than once, even though I’d made it very clear that I wasn’t interested in virtual sex and I expected a real date. He took another girl to the cinema and I said I wanted to go to the theatre. He agreed on that, but didn’t organise it.

On the night we actually met, he called me and suggested that we could go to my local for an impromptu drink. Given that we had been chatting for a few weeks by this point, I relented and agreed, but I was disappointed that the original date we had agreed upon wasn’t going to happen. I knew he was eager to have sex, but unless I felt an extreme urge in that regard, it wasn’t going to happen.

He came over to my place and we went to the pub. R is always very chatty, but it’s often hard to get a word in edge ways. He talks and talks and talks, which is interesting and exhausting at the same time. He is very knowledgeable, intelligent and friendly, so all things considered he’s just the type of person I like to speak to.

We went outside for a smoke and were still chatting. He was being so amiable, I didn’t sense any vibe that he actually liked me, that way, but then we started to talk about sex and it wasn’t long before he kissed me. Much to my surprise, he was a great kisser. It was passionate and sensual, with not too much tongue; the perfect combination for me. We got well and truly caught up in the moment. Once we started kissing, we hardly came up for air. There was hardly anyone around, but a couple of girls walked past and coughed very loudly as they did, which resulted in a round of giggles. Anyway, he’d sufficiently stoked my fire, so we made our way back to my place.

Right before we entered my bedroom, R said “I’ve got something to tell you.” Yes, that’s just what I wanted to hear at that moment. “Oh god.” I responded. He said “No, it’s nothing bad. I just tend go up and down a lot.” I said it was fine and things continued. As well as being a good kisser, R was a good lover. He focused on me a lot.

We were kissing and then he made his way down to my pussy, teasing me as he got closer and closer to the jackpot. He made his way back up my body, kissed me again and then back down again. Kissing and licking, kissing and licking, over and over again. It was divine – the perfect amount of sensuality and teasing until he went down south and didn’t resurface again until I’d climaxed, at which point he slid inside me and climaxed himself.

After three months with J and being starved of oral sex, it was just what I needed. I hadn’t had any sex for a few weeks, so I was ready for a good session. He slept over, which was nice, but his presence meant I didn’t sleep very well. I don’t think he did either. We attempted to have sex again in the morning, but we were both so tired it wasn’t really working. That’s the only time his “up and down” was an issue.

We kept in touch; well, he contacted me a lot and I didn’t contact him at all. I’d had a nice time with him, but I had no intention of pursuing another fuck buddy arrangement. After being in two long term relationships, consecutively, he said he didn’t want anything serious, which was understandable. We were just in different places.

Anyway, a couple of weeks later he messaged me to ask if I wanted to go to the theatre that night to see The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. He said he’d booked a couple of tickets, but his “friend” couldn’t make it. I suspected that it was a date he’d organised, so I asked him and he confirmed it was. I was miffed that he’d gone to that trouble for another woman and not me, but I’d wanted to see that play for a long time and didn’t have any other plans, so I figured I may as well make the most of the opportunity.

It was a good night. I love going to the theatre and we just happened to be sitting in the exact same seats that I’d sat in before when I went to see another play with a friend. Before the play started, I was looking around the theatre in awe and said “Thanks for this R”, at which point he kissed me on the cheek. It was very sweet and we held hands throughout. It was romantic.

The play was really enjoyable – I recommend it! Afterwards we went for some food (which wasn’t so great, but his company was) and then made our way back to mine. He’d already asked if he could stay over. The sex was just as good, if not better, than the first time.

That was the last time I saw R, but he still contacts me from time to time. He invited me over to his place recently, but I declined. As much as I enjoy his company, I don’t have any desire for anything beyond friendship with him. As I said, I am not interested in another fuck buddy right now.

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